Newfie joke

[clover]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honour of this holy season' Saint Peter said,  'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The man  from Nova Scotia fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The man from Saskatchewan reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The Newfoundlander  started searching desperately through his pockets and  finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The Newfie  replied, 'These are Carol's.'

And So The Christmas Season
Begins.......

[clover]

I can't help this.....I have a friend from Toronto who sends me Newfie jokes.....and I've never even been there!

Newfoundland Icebreaker!

[Moose in Belize]

and I've never even been there!

If you had, you would realize that this is not a Newfoundlander. 

[clover]

How do you know?

[deadserious]

Because Newfies don't carry axes of course.

[clover]

Really?  They can't afford them....or they can't be trusted with them?

[clover]

Sitting together on a train, traveling through the Canadian Rockies were a fellow from Newfoundland , a fellow from Quebec , a little old Greek lady and a young blonde lady.
 
The train goes into a dark tunnel and a few seconds later there is the sound of a loud slap.

When the train emerges from the tunnel, the fellow from Quebec has a bright red hand print on his cheek.
No one speaks.

The little old Greek lady thinks:  The fellow from Quebec must have groped the blonde in the dark and she slapped his cheek.

The blonde lady thinks:  That fellow from Quebec must have tried to grope me in the dark, but missed and fondled the old lady and she slapped his cheek..

The fellow from Quebec thinks:  that fellow from  Newfoundland must have groped the blonde in the dark. She tried to slap him but missed and got me instead.

The fellow from  Newfoundland thinks:  I can't wait for another tunnel, just so I can smack the fellow from Quebec again..

[Moose in Belize]

That could apply to the residents of all 8 other provinces as well.

Ask your Toronto friend if he knows how Newfoundland was discovered.