happy hour!

[papashine]

A Newfoundlander is driving down a road in St. Johns.
A sign in front of a restaurant reads:




HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL

Lobster Tail and Beer
 

   

'Lord  tunderin' jaysus' he says to himself, 'me 3 favourite tings!'







 



 
 

[clover]

 A man and  his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on  the door..
The man gets up and goes to the door where a  drunken stranger,
standing in the pouring rain, is  asking for a push.
     "Not a chance," says the  husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning
     He slams  the door and returns to bed.
      "Who was that?"  asked his wife.
      "Just some drunk guy asking for a  push," he answers.
      "Did you help him?" she  asks.
      "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning  and it is pouring rain out there!"
      "Well, you have a short  memory," says his wife. "Can't you re member about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped  us?
      I think you should help him, and you should be  ashamed of yourself!"
      The man does as he is told,  gets dressed, and goes out into the pounding rain.
      He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you  still there?"
      "Yes," comes back the  answer.
      "Do you still need a push?" calls out the  husband.
      "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the  dark.
      "Where are you?" asks the  husband..
      "Over here on the swing set," replied the  drunk..     

[papashine]

The
Bank of Montreal was running a recent PASSWORD AUDIT and it was found that
Stevie O'Toole from Conception Bay, Newfoundland was using the following
password:

MickeyDonaldMinnieGoofyDaffyBugsElmerPlutoOttawa.

When
Stevie was asked why he had such a long password: he replied ''Lard t'underin'!
are yez blind er' stupid?  Shur I wuz told me password had to be at least 8
characters long wit' one capital''

[clover]

I was out with family and friends at a local pub, and I really stuck my foot in my mouth!

They had a contest going on at the pub -and of course we all joined in.

I was doing quite well, proud of being able to answer all the questions.

I lost out on winning the pub quiz by one point.

The question was, "Where do women mostly have curly hair?"

Apparently it's Africa.